More Stories of a Montanan in the South

I've found that even though I've been in the South for a few months now, I still have plenty to learn.

One thing I've definitely found out lately is that under no circumstances do you ever want to let your hair grow long during the humid summers down here. IT WILL FEEL LIKE A MOP ON YOUR HEAD THAT TRAPS IN THE SWELTERING HEAT!!!

With that in mind, an interesting event ensued at the Pester house the other day. At about nine-o'clock the other night, I just couldn't handle the heat anymore. I got up, walked over to the bathroom, and returned to Jennifer holding my hair clippers. Now, I know we have been through plenty of pre-marital counseling on trust, but the look on her face when I asked her to cut my hair didn't give me much confidence that the results would be good.

After getting situated in the chair, the experience began. She started off slowly getting acquainted with the clippers barely taking any of my hair off at all. After a short time though, the hair began flying everywhere in the room, and I could tell she was beginning to really get into the task at hand. After about 30 minutes, I was pretty sure that I looked like something from Planet of the Apes with all of the fallen hair that had stuck onto me. But needless to say, after a quick shower and a glance at the mirror, I found out the results of the situation...my wife had done an amazing job cutting my hair! Who knew that this beautiful southern girl could cut hair so well!

There is one other lesson I've learned in the South. WATCH OUT FOR HUGE BUGS! Now, Jennifer had warned me about the bugs in the South, but I thought she was just kidding until the other day when I got out of the shower. As I reached for my towel, this is what I found squirming away from me:

Now I know that as being a man I'm not supposed to be afraid of these things, but first of all let me explain something. I HAVE NEVER SEEN ONE OF THESE ROACH THINGS ALIVE IN MY HOUSE BEFORE. I'm pretty sure I did a tumbling somersault back into the tub being startled by this creature. After leaping over it to get to the bathroom door, I was met with my wife's gentle assurances that, "Oh yeah, these guys are normal for the south." Normal...right. These gargantuan creepy monsters from the deep are "normal."

Well, after a few minutes of gathering up enough gumption to actually squish the thing, I grabbed the nearest shoe and chased the critter around the bathroom. Finally, the creepy monster from the deep met its demise with a loud CRUNCH.

I'm still so adjusting to the South...this place is way different than the North...more stories as they come!